 Laurie Israel Help for
Married People
Training Options
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TWO-DAY MARITAL MEDIATION TRAINING
For Family Mediatiors Only
How to Use Mediation to Help Couples Stay Married
John A. Fiske, Esq. and Laurie Israel, Esq. trainers
Friday and Saturday, November 12 and 13, 2010 at the Wellesley College Club
Wellesley, Massachusetts
8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.
Bulletin:
Laurie will be teaching a one day marital mediation training
for the Montana Mediation Association in Helena, Montana on April 30, 2011.
Day One
Morning:
What question does each trainee have about marital mediation? How we each started
practicing marital mediation.
- What is this process?
- How does it differ from divorce mediation or family counseling?
Each trainee introduces herself or himself.
Examination of literature and websites:
Role Play (fish bowl): The first meeting with the mediator: a couple
with financial issues discusses what to do with their marriage.
Afternoon:
Some Technical Issues, including:
- Should marital mediation include caucuses, and if so when?
- How to deal with infidelity, actual or emotional.
- Gender and sexual orientation issues.
The Post-Marital Agreement:
- Addresses fundamental issues of control and acknowledgement
- Examination of sample actual agreements
- Defines behavioral changes
- Emphasizes transparent finances
- Defines the terms of a possible divorce, and estate planning if applicable
- Agreements as an ongoing guide to the marriage
- What happens when lawyers get involved
- Is a written agreement a necessary part of marital mediation?
- Is a post-marital agreement enforceable, and does it matter?
Afternoon role plays: A risk taking entrepreneur, a house renovation,
problems with in- laws, (s)he feels the other is not doing enough, other issues
you see in your own practice.
In role plays you focus on what would have to happen in order for the couple to
stay married, plus you examine:
- What happens in a marital mediation meeting?
- How do you bring up difficult subjects?
- Techniques for transformation
- How long and how often do you meet?
Day Two
Morning:
- Examples of marital counseling v. marital mediation.
- How to respond to questions from psychotherapists and others
- How not to practice psychotherapy without a license
- Mediating in the shadow of the law
- Is the law important?
- Informing clients about the practicalities of what happens if they divorce
- Research in this field and related marital studies
- Screening factors predicting marital failure or success
Other Issues:
- Helping marriages with estate planning and real estate concepts
- Helping marriages with asset protection
- When to refer to a specialist
Fish bowl role play focuses on introducing the subject of using
mediation to help them stay married. What happens if one party does not want to
work on the marriage? How, if at all, do you transform a divorce mediation into
a marital mediation?
Afternoon role plays: Couples with religion or class differences,
child problems, financial problems, job dissatisfaction, husband out of work, spouse
with illness, cases you want to see.
Methodology:
- Design your own process and written materials
- The range of written agreements (from none to the quasi-divorce agreement)
- More on enforceability of post-nuptial agreements
Where do we go from here?
- How to develop and market a marital mediation practice
- How to publicize marital mediation so that clients know it is available
- How to find and develop peer support
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- Laurie Israel
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Laurie Israel began practicing law as a tax lawyer in 1987, and began practicing
divorce law in 1991. She is the founding member of Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC
in Brookline, Massachusetts. Her interest in marital mediation (which she calls
“Mediation to Stay Married”) originated in her practice of divorce law. As a result
of her writings on marital mediation (on-line and print) clients started searching
her out as someone who they felt could help them in their marriages. Aside from
marital mediation, Laurie’s practice includes divorce mediation, collaborative law,
divorce, prenuptial agreements and estate planning. Laurie developed a website
www.mediationtostaymarried.com to assist practitioners and couples
seeking information on marital mediation
- John A. Fiske
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John A. Fiske has been a lawyer since 1961 and a family mediator at Healy, Fiske,
Richmond and Matthew since 1979. Since 1989, with Diane Neumann and Phil Woodbury
he has trained over 800 people in divorce mediation. He introduced the concept of
Marital Mediation to help couples stay married, at the urging of his wife, in 1997.
He has written various articles and conducted several professional workshops on
the subject since then. See e.g. “Marital Mediation as Another Helpful Path,” Mass.
Lawyers Weekly December 8, 1997. He has also been featured in media accounts including
the Boston Globe (“Sealing A Contract after the Marriage,” December 19, 2005). He
has helped about 50 couples to stay married in the last 10 years, and finds increasing
interest in this approach. This training is his fourth marital mediation training,
adding to the critical mass.
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