Mediation in Action — Stacey & David

Choose another case study Judith & William Brian & Nedra Stacey & David Mark & Sally George & Lucy Patrick & Aimee Show all case studies

Stacey has a way with home decor, but this time David thinks her plans are too extravagant. She wants to renovate 6 of 8 rooms in the family home at once, and David, the breadwinner, has stated over and over that they can't sensibly afford it. Stacey feels he is constraining her, and that her talents are being insulted as money-wasting follies. David can't stop thinking about how different they are when it comes to finances, maybe too different.

Without a mediator, they hadn't found the opening for a solution, but soon into mediation, they are hearing each other out for the first time. While the mediator steers the conversation in the right direction, it is Stacey and David themselves who actually come up with the agreement. She gets to create a beautiful home - but one room at a time. In fact, only when a project is completed will Brian release funds for the next phase. The key in this mediation process was a deepening of understanding of the spouses for one another. Brian began to see how important the renovations were to Stacey's self-esteem. Even more critical, he realized how much pleasure the decorated home has provided him. No one but Stacey could have made it so perfect. Meanwhile, Stacey had a clearer picture of how numerous financial outlays were putting pressure on David and hurting their long-term prospects for stability, both fiscal and otherwise.