Mediation in Action — Mark & Sally

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Initially, Mark and Sally lived in the newly-wed fairy-tale dream. Everything was going perfectly. He was almost finished with law school. She was finishing up her graduate degree in art history. Loving and supportive of one another, they made their plans for "happily ever after" and had a big wedding. Soon, however, they began to notice all the little differences between them. Cute habits became annoying behaviors. Every interchange became a battle. The constant bickering affected every aspect of their lives, including their bedroom. Disillusioned, they tried marital counseling, but were unable to break the bad patterns they had developed. Can they regain the acceptance and respect they once had for one another?

The first few years of a marriage are a very intense period of adjustment. It's very common for the couple to learn differences about each other and encounter extreme bouts of negativity that they never imagined possible. A newly married couple (and any married couple, for that matter) should try anything at their disposal. Sometimes marriage counseling does not work. It does not mean that the marriage is over or that the counseling was insufficient or even that marriage counseling may not work at a future time. Couples need to try different things at different times in order to break the log jam of disillusionment. Mediation to Stay Married may help break the impasse. The mediator will explain to Mark and Sally that, just like a new hobby, learning how to be married is a learnable skill. She will teach them conflict resolution skills that they can begin to practice. She will provide books and other helpful resources. She may even advise Mark and Sally to try counseling again (perhaps with a different therapist) which they may now find a very positive and healing experience.